Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Happy Thanksgiving & Other

Yesterday was Thanksgiving. I’m still feeling the repercussions for eating as if my stomach had no bottom… it was almost entirely too painful to move, and even to BREATHE after the feast we had yesterday.

We did it up real good. Bought two live turkeys which the boys and Jose’s familia anfitriona drugged up with whiskey to make more relaxed/the meat more tender, and then killed and de-feathered and all that good (?) stuff. Of course, I did not watch the killing, but did get to pet them while they calmed themselves just prior (sorry veg(an) friends). I guess you know you’re in Peace Corps when this becomes the most cost-effective method of arranging your meal. I did not eat the poor chumpipe, but heard rave reviews of its juicy tenderness. Whiskey, apparently, was the key.

Let’s see. Among the montón de comida we had, there was (made by yours truly) Gran’s stuffing, which will definitely be done better next time but nonetheless fulfilled just the right nostalgic need, cranberry sauce, sweet potato pie, and mom’s pumpkin pie. There was also green bean casserole, mashed potatoes with turnips, candied carrots, asparagus… and sweet rolls. OMG it was so much deliciousness. Like I said, I’m still in pain today. But OH-SO-WORTH IT. We also watched It’s a Wonderful Life afterwards to stay true to Jose’s yearly family tradition. Such a great movie.

I must say, as much as I missed being with my fabulous family this Thanksgiving, I was in a rather grateful mood. There were six of us volunteers at the warm and loving house of a Guatemalan family here, and I couldn’t have felt more at home. We spent two days cooking for this feast, all the while being treated like family, feeling like we were with our real families. The volunteers around become people you just inherently love, since you are all going through this experience in the same manner, and are, in general, really fantastic people. As luck would have it we got acquainted with one of the most open-hearted, open-armed families here and I really feel like the hija they say I am, even though I don’t live with them.


So, todavía I’m adjusting, poco a poco, to the new life situation I find myself in. I can tell it’s not such smooth sailing because I’m quite out of balance, proof being the week I just had. Monday morning, as I was just starting to jog to the fútbol cancha on the cobblestone streets, I tripped over a stone that jutted out and ate it REAL hard. I skinned the palms of both my hands (which, after putting superglue on yesterday to close them up feel a tiny bit better – but being in the crease of the palm of your hand does not permit quick/easy healing), my right elbow, and my right knee (which is still a tiny bit tweaked). Needless to say, I haven’t run all week, and cooking for two days in a row with bandaids on the palms of my hands was a new and not-so-easily-overcome challenge—thus, the superglue.

Then, Tuesday, as I was using my brand new, cheap blender to make a smoothie, the bottom twisted out and spilled smoothie EVERYWHERE. As if not having a sink in my room to clean up the mess wasn’t challenging enough, I had to also clean up the broken base after it decided to fall off the edge of my table. Thus, no more brand new blender.

Wednesday, before I got to escape into the world of cooking, I had lunch with my counterparts and found myself the only gringo at the table. It’s very nice that they always provide lunch after meetings, or at the very least a snack, but man—if I keep eating like this, I’ll forever have a swollen face! Not appealing. Also, being the only gringo at the table is a bit daunting. Everyone talks in their Guatemalan manner and makes their Guatemalan jokes and I understand less than half of it. So while they all sit there laughing and enjoying their lunch, I get to sit there and eat a little mindless and out of touch with what’s going on around me.

I’ve been reminded by a few of my friends that, no matter how much time you spend here and get comfortable with the people around you, you will still be a foreigner. So, at the very least, I can look forward to understanding what people say and how it is perceived by the others. This will be such a weight off my shoulders when it finally happens.


Though, despite all this, I still really do like being here. I like that I have been living here for almost four months now and still don’t want to go home. I like that I get to open myself up to what’s happening around me, even if it’s not all that comfortable at times, and I like that I know it’s making me grow a little inside each time I do this. I like that I’ve been able to feel like I have family here, both Guatemalan and American. I like that I no longer wake up feeling like I am not in my own room. I like that I have fresh fruits and vegetables available to me at my every whim and have everything I need to live the lifestyle I want to live. I like that I have so much time to BE with myself and get comfortable with being without so many of those things I’d have found outside of myself in the U.S. I like that I’m aware that time is the key, and I have plenty of it here in Guatemala. I like that, in all this time, I get to spend my moments in the immaculate beauty of this mountain town with the immaculately beautifully-souled individuals that make up its population. I like that, despite being different, I am still greeted with warm hugs and kisses on the cheek to assure me that I really am welcome here.


So it’s now two days later… I’ve been in bed all day with that nasty, not-well-enough-prepared food sickness/fever of 100.2/etc. It was a really terrible day, actually. But, all’s well that ends well. My host family came in to check on me several times, made me tea to make my nausea go away, made me something to eat, and it was lovely. My site mate brought me Gatorade after work and came back later with his host family to bring me tea and toasted bread. It was lovely. M&M called me to wish me well and, alas, I am better. At the end of a day feeling crappier than I can remember feeling in a LONG time, I am reminded so kindly that I really am welcome here. And I feel loved.


To all of you back at home, I miss you ever so much and regret that I don’t have the ability to just come stop by to see you. But I’m comforted to know you are there, living real lives and being a part of mine. I love you very much, and thank the powers that be to have had your influence in my making.

Have a beautiful day.

Monday, November 16, 2009

Do you remember when you used to go camping when you were little at the Carson River Valley? And you had to cross rivers in your old 4x4 Jeep Cherokee because it was shallow enough (though rocky) to do that? And do you remember driving down miles of dirt/rocky roads to get to that point in the river where you had to cross? No? Well, I do. Reliving that memory is probably one of the most exciting things that’s happened in site, as of yet. Yesterday I crossed a river in the Director of ADICTA’s old 1994 Toyota Pick-up because the only bridge had its single lane blocked by a semi carrying a bunch of boulders who decided to stop ON THE BRIDGE. We then drove down a couple more miles of bumpety, washed out decomposed granite roads to get to the town where I got to give my first (not-so-successful) charla to the women’s group that processes and dehydrates fruits and vegetables.

So at ADICTA, I am to focus on commercialization of those products and planification of their production. We did a SWOT (Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities, Threats) workshop so they would be able to come up with these things on their own, as a group – to get them thinking about their group and its future without relying on someone on the outside to come and fix it all for them. The reason I say it was not-so-successful is because I hardly know the women, and had a hard time getting them to feel comfortable taking action. Some of them did step up, but the success of the charla was due largely to the fact that the Director, Don Victor, who is also my counterpart, chimed in with some well-rounded points on how they need to reach towards each other to find these answers, because it’s up to them to form the future success of the group, and no one else.

That’s not to say, though, that things won’t work out with this group of women. In fact, I’m inclined to believe that the more time I spend with them, and the more times I repeat that I’m 24, single, and not planning to get married until I go back home (or probably not even for quite some time thereafter, esp. since, by Guatemalan standards, I’ll be way too viejita at the ripe old age of 26 and it will be difficult to find a husband), they will warm to me and we will be able to contribute a lot to one another’s tables. It’s also great that they all think I will change my mind and get married here in Guate, since that’s precisely what my predecessor/current site mate did. Well, vamos a ver… we’ll just have to see about that. Anyway, I think working with these women who are oh-so-chistosa will be a bright highlight of my time here.


So I’m adjusting, slowly but surely, to my new little space in the world. I can’t say that it’s easy, though it hasn’t been particularly difficult. I do have a rather nicely finished house to live in with ceramic tile floors and all, and a view that’s (as I’ve mentioned various times) to die for from my bedroom window, and a steaming hot shower… it’s just a rather strange adjustment not having to get up and go ten different places Saturday morning. If I were at home today, I would’ve had to rush out of the house to drive to at least three different places by the end of the day. Instead, I slept a lot, talked about how people are “made of corn” with my host mom, drew ositos (little bears) for them, ate with them, wrote A LOT in my journal, and contemplated why I didn’t go to town with all my fellow volunteers.

I believe this is a great opportunity for me to finally settle down completely into the moments of my days, instead of rushing from one to the next, all day long. I look forward to this comfort I’ll achieve with just simply being with myself.


On another note, all the time I’ve spent daydreaming doesn’t really contribute to that “living in the moment” philosophy I’d like to master. It does, however, present many opportunities to fantasize about the grandiose things I’m GOING to do in the future… like live and work in Europe, or travel all over the world and do Graduate research, or just research in general, amongst the places I visit. Ahh, le sigh; for another time.

I would like to replace this daydreaming with reading or writing letters… so if you’d like a letter from me, please email me your address and I’ll be sure to get on that. For those of you that’ve emailed me I’m working on those responses right now.


With much love and gratitude for you all (without whom it would be mighty difficult to feel at home, anywhere), Happy New Week.

Monday, November 9, 2009

:)

Today I washed my clothes by hand for the very first time. I don’t know that I did such a good job in my two-and-a-half hour stint, but I did it. We shall judge the results when my clothes finally dry probably two or three days from now.

I stood at the pila on the roof underneath the little awning of lamina rubbing my hands raw with detergent, looking amongst the mountainous glory lined with silver-lined clouds and sun, listening to the pitter-patter of light rain on that lamina awning, and gasping at the splendor of a perfectly glistening rainbow seemingly just a football field away. This rainbow, with its start shooting out the depths of the ravine and end going over the other side of the mountain, was the most beautifully brilliant I’ve ever seen. Then, as I turned to gather the surrounding view, I saw the volcano I now live in the vicinity of and, again, had my breath taken away.

Is life really hard? I don’t think so. I see beautiful things daily that make it worthwhile to stop and appreciate all those things that there are to appreciate in this world. I may be sick now and then, lose my voice because of it, rub my hands raw with detergent, cook and sleep both in one room, sleep with numb toes, and be thoroughly challenged by ever-new surroundings, but I still have those beautiful things to bring me back to that knowledge that life really is, well, beautiful.


The holidays are coming and I heard my first Christmas song (in Spanish) on the radio Friday morning. My initial reaction, being reminded that I am without those I most love this holiday season, was “BAH!” (Plus, it’s only the beginning of November) But, that same evening, as I began to bake with my sitemate for a potluck we were going to on Saturday, I couldn’t help but let him drag me into the spirit of it. We put on Christmas music (I know, bah – but we do what we can to make ourselves feel at home here) and made REALLY YUMMY oatmeal/craisin cookies AND orange vegan cake with fresh-, home-squeezed orange juice and strawberry jelly/powdered sugar icing. They were both a hit (yes, even the vegan cake – a few people even requested the recipe).

This afternoon, after washing my clothes, the sitemates all got together at M&M’s house for dinner. M&M made us some amazing quiche, and I made No Bakes. Have you ever had them? If you have, you’d know how INCREDIBLE they taste. It was fabulous. We also watched When Harry Met Sally (yes, again – it never gets old to me) and, once again, it put me in a state of bliss.
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Enjoy your day, I love you.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

A little bit of each of my days...

It seems I am floating at the top of my dreams. I sat at the table last night with my family here last night trying to explain how strange it feels to be doing what I’ve been dreaming about for two years now. Can you imagine? I can’t. I just have to live it. I don’t even know what to say anymore, except that it feels incredible to be soaring into the future I’ve been waiting for. Does that paint a picture clear enough?


So this morning I’d like to say a few words regarding the camionetas, or “chicken buses”. They are called “chicken buses” because occasionally you’ll hear a bunch of peeping coming from a basket, and every once in awhile you’ll actually see a chicken, or two turkeys tied down into another basket. It’s worth mentioning that you’re never at a loss for a seat, even when there are none. These second-hand school buses have long enough seats to fit three, even when the third is one cheek on, one cheek off in the aisle. No matter, the third person in the other seat serves to hold you upright as you squish together.

This morning, I had the most mentionable of bus rides. It was totally full, except not too full to keep cramming people on. It’s NEVER too full to keep cramming people on. Tricia and I got shoved all the way to the back, and she was lucky enough to get one of those third-spot seats, while I got to stand right between two seats, holding the people on the edges (including Tricia) up with my hips. As people tried to shove past so they could bajar, I hit Tricia right between the eyes with my FULL Nalgene bottle. We’re waiting for the black eye to pop up. Later on, as I enjoyed the tight fit of people pressing up against me, I tried to adjust my arms (which were holding onto the railing in the ceiling for dear life) and elbowed Tricia on the top of the head.

You can imagine how entertaining it was. Tricia may not be too excited, but I think she’s a good sport. We laughed. A lot.


Just a little bit of my day here in Guate. Have a good one, loved ones.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

So, it’s been awhile since I’ve written you. Fíjese que I’ve been pretty busy lately. There has been quite a stir of emotions. Through it all, I haven’t lost my conviction that this is definitely what I want to be doing with my life right now. Our time as trainees is quickly winding away and we are all pretty ready to get going with our lives—especially since we’ve gotten a taste of just how our lives will be these next two years, starting October 31st.

A word on my site…

You would never imagine the greatness of what I get to look at every day. Hills, mountains, valleys, trees, crisp, cool air, and the best part: my office. It’s an old hacienda-style house with a courtyard out back that’s as rustically quaint as you could ever imagine. I get to go there every day. And when I don’t stay at the office all day, I’m traveling through the mountains and valleys and over the rivers into the surrounding aldeas where I get to breath it all in up close. All the belleza and glory…

If you couldn’t guess, I’m happy.

I’ll be working at an organization that’s organized itself for the organizational purposes of the community’s wellbeing. :) I’ll primarily be working with a women’s group that processes and dehydrates fruits and vegetables, and sometimes honey to sell to various markets. It will partly be my job to help them search for other commercialization channels, as well as establish that they’ve taken into account all of their costs in a cost-of-production workshop (taller) and capacitation series, and make a production and commercialization plan for the future. I’ve got my work cut out for me, but am way excited to tackle this.

Today we had our last and final feedback session and, again, I got: “Your happiness, amazing flexibility, and hard work has made it very easy for us to find a great place for you and proves to us that you will be one of the excellently successful volunteers.”

So at my site, there is another volunteer going into his third year who recently married an awesome Guatemalan girl, and they have baby bunnies that like to run around and slide on their tile floors. They’re super nice and I’m fortunate to have the next year living around them. I also have a site mate from my same training class that is fabulous to have nearby. We live about a two+ hour walk away from another three volunteers, one of which is also from my training class. My site mate and I took the walk on Saturday to the others’ town and, though long (~6 miles over hills in high altitude), it was so worth the beautiful view and air and river and all that sweet stuff. We’re planning to switch Saturdays doing the walk and have brunch ready for whoever makes the trip.

I’m pretty excited for the crowd I get to spend my time with, the place I get to work, the people I work with and the community I will be living in for the next two years. I’m pretty excited that I still feel like I perfectly belong just right where I am and that I’m continuing to live this dream. I’m pretty excited that the next two years will assuredly be so fulfilling and will teach me so much more than most things I could be doing in the States right now.


OH!! I almost forgot to talk about my trip to Pacaya. We hiked to the crater of an active volcano and saw RUNNING LAVA. SUPER hot, super exciting. It sounds like crackling glass as it flows. We roasted marshmallows and made smores over the heat of it. Wish I could say more about it, but words escape me. Enjoy the photos on facebook... the uploader isn't working for this blog right now.

I'm sitting here listening to the Help album, courtesy of my dad, and couldn’t be happier. I have yet to cease being amazed and graciously reminded that I have so much love in my life. Sorry to those of you who may get sick of hearing this, but it’s what keeps me going here. And I feel lucky to be so ever-aware and reminded of it.

Send me some “you” music and I’ll sit here listening to it, thinking of you the whole time. But don’t send it until I get my new address in two weeks. If you do, it may be months before I get it.

My love goes to each of you every day.

Loverpants, you are amazing. Don’t you forget it.

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

FBT

MONDAY:

Yesterday, I had the best roadtrip of my life. Music makes everything wonderful, and I LOVE these people. We sang and danced to old school hip hop almost the entire six hours it took to get to Coban. We stopped at Pollo Campero in Guate City and I ate way too much ridiculously bad-for-you food. LOVE GRAPE SODA, even though it tastes like Dimetapp and Robitussin.

As we drove and sang and danced I reflected inside how lucky I am. To drive through the immaculate beauty of Guatemala with such wonderful people on the way to live out my fantasies was unreal. We got there and I let my better judgment appease my initial intimidation of Gualberto Pop, who is the spitting visual image of Machismo. And good that I did. We drove 10 or 15 minutes to his spot of heaven upon his hill. Steep, but SO WORTH the climb after parking the car a 10-minute walk away. Indescribable beauty to live in such a kingdom of beautiful perfection. At the base of his hill is a ravine, with a creek separating us from a forest—the likes of whose thick, luscious beauty I have so often dreamt of. I hear there is also a cave, but woe to me that there is not enough time this week to explore (plus, women aren’t allowed in caves for superstitious reasons—not so uncommon here).

I woke up this morning to fabulous Keq-Chi Marimba music and the angelic face of Inés—the one-year-seven-month-old baby girl/granddaughter who loves to call out my name, “Mana.” Last night I made my first tortilla and it got burnt, but, estuvo bienya era fea. :)

Anyway, DELICIOUS homemade tortillas to start the day off saw me and Gualberto off to the Chirrepec Tea Coop. Today we learned the history of how the Germans bought this land which the government stole from the Keq-Chi in the 1880’s. They introduced teas and exotic fruits, built a mansion (WAY COOL RUINS), a tea factory, and as pass came to pass, eventually the Germans were shipped off and the cooperative was handed back over to the Keq-Chi with the government’s hands still involved. As the government’s term faded out at the Coop, the Keq-Chi took it and ran with it. Since 1970-something it has been growing, and now each of the members affords to send their kids through high school, and some even through college. But, no fear of corruption or pocketing of money thanks to the consejo vigilancia’s system of checks and balances. Pretty neat.

Then we went to Coban to buy way too much chocolate and eat at a fabulous comedor, and returned to the coop to work on our charlas for tomorrow. We each met individually with our APCD to talk about site expectations and I got to say that, actually, the most important thing to me was that the people were really excited to have me there and to work with me. And, that I was flexible with everything regarding place as long as I could bathe every day. And that I was vegetarian. But, it ended with him telling me that he believes my flexibility will make me one of the excellent ones in whichever site I end up in. I don’t know if I could’ve asked for a better vote of confidence.

TUESDAY:

So the charlas happened, and I loved it. I learned a few words in Keq-Chi (na-chiin, oah-chiin, for hello women and men, bantiox for thank you, ma sa le ch’ol for ¿qué tal?, qwalak-chik for adios) from the Pop family and gave an excellent performance. We did the corn dance (words translated into Keq-Chi: utzuuj (flower), hal (fruit/corn), xxaq (leaf), rutzahil (stem), xxel (roots)) and then played hot potato so they would have to answer my questions if they were holding the “potato.” They all and we all had a great time—thank you to my trainers and fellow trainees for doing the corn dance with me.
(Embarassment)

WEDNESDAY:

Happy Birthday, Tricia! We celebrated with cake after a day’s worth of information about a group called Forestrade and also MAGA (Ministry of Agriculture, Ganaderia and Alimentación), BanRural, and FINCA. I ended the day (of not feeling so hot) by going to the lab to find out that I have amoebas!!! WOOT! Medicine tomorrow.

THURSDAY:

We started the day at Intecap (An institute for the capacitation of individuals in trade skills). It’s a great program that I’m eager to look more into. We, as volunteers, even have the opportunity to get capacitated by them to teach our skills in a more effective manner to adults. We then went to ANACAFE to learn how they cup coffee and what the difficulties for many producers are in getting a quality product, and then, if they have quality, in getting it off the ground. After a trip to another excellent comedor, we drove to ANACAFE’s finca, where they grow coffee (imagine that!). We took a walk up a tremendously steep hill, climbing the numerous (to say the least) terraces of coffee plants, only to be rewarded by the most breathtaking, spectacular view of my life. All around us there were beautifully patterned rows of coffee, rolling hills, valleys, and forests atop the highest parts. Clouds, mist, and sun peaking through it all made it indescribably amazing. The pictures I took do it no justice. One must be there to breathe it all in.

At the end of the day, I got home to my Pop family and talked of my bliss for awhile. We then took a family photo as a token to remember them by, and they dressed me up in their traje de Coban. Due to my being at least 10 inches taller, and sizably bigger than each of them, I felt like a giant ball of cloth. But they told me I looked very elegant. Because of me being dressed up, Inés insisted that she put on her traje, too. Eventually, Doña Marta, Ruty, Blanca, and Inés and I were all dressed up in Traje. Walter, Edgar, and Don Gualberto joined us in their western clothing and we posed for a photo. I took several in my photo shoot, and was totally validated (if it was needed at all is debatable) when Doña Marta grabbed and clasped my hand over her shoulder for one of the poses. I felt so loved.

FRIDAY:

I packed up and said goodbye, sent off with woes of how sad it was that I had to leave. They wanted me to stay!!! Sadly, I had to say “diosh,” (that’s how Inés says adios), and take my last trip down the hill from heaven. We said our gracious thanks to the men of the Coop for sharing their families and tremendous hospitality and went to Coban for a nice piece of chocolate cake and some coffee at a restaurant owned by an RPCV who served in Guate in the 3rd group (in the sixties) and married a Guatemalan. Her restaurant is also an exotic orchid garden that exhibits pieces of work from local artists. As I shared my pictures over coffee and cake, the volunteer who’s been working at the Coop for the last two years and had hosted us all week told me I had managed to gain “mad confianza.” He let me know it was a big deal to be so taken in by them so quickly, and to be dressed up in their Traje. I was bursting with excitement, to say the least.

We visited a Cardamom processing plant and got to breathe in the intoxicatingly fabulous aroma of cardamom for about two hours, while one of the other volunteers who was hosting us that week talked the ear off of the tour guide about futures and yada yada and some blah blah blah about cardamom. If I had understood half of what they were saying in Spanish, I would’ve been able to keep my interest up. But, I don’t think I would’ve even understood them if there were talking in English. It’s all good, it was sweet to breathe it all in.

We checked into our hostel for our last night in Coban, rested, checked facebook, and then met the fraternity that is the hoard of male Volunteers in or around Coban (as well as a few visiting from other parts of Guate) for dinner at a garage-turned-exquisite Cuban restaurant, owned by a Cuban ex-pat. Again, the food put me in a state of ecstasy. So Happy I AM.

Saturday, September 19, 2009

Un día muy bueno.

I’ve been feeling better lately, since I started doing my Yoga AND Pilates regularly. And this morning, I was feeling really good about things when I finished, until… until I dropped the big glass lid that covers the bread plate and broke it… until I kicked mango dog poop while I was wearing FLIP FLOPS (!!!)… until I almost dropped my fork full of incredible macadamia nut pancakes with blueberry jelly on my lap… But really? What can I complain about? I’m buying a new lid, there were wet ones to wipe off my toes, and I saved the forkful of deliciousness. All is well. And I mean, nothing could be that bad on a day when you have the world’s best macadamia nut pancakes with macadamia nut butter and blueberry jam smothered all over the top of them. I’m talking about heaven. Heaven in my mouth. AND the 1 lb. bag of white chocolate bells filled with chopped macadamia nuts; those didn’t last very long (don’t talk smack; I shared… a little).

We had feedback today, and it was very reassuring. I think I’m getting more and more excited each time. It’s becoming so much more real. We leave Sunday 9/20 to go to FBT (Field Based Training) and I’m pretty excited to see what it will be like. We’ll be experiencing the lifestyle of a current volunteer and giving charlas to his assigned organization of a 50-Keq’Chi-women Coffee Cooperative. There will be translators to tell them what we’re saying in Spanish into their Mayan language – so cool. We also get to visit organizations such as ANACAFE and INTECAP to see just how the nonprofit world fits into development here in Guatemala. I wish I could tell you more about them, but at this point I’m still trying to figure things out myself.

The day is fast approaching that we find out our site-assignments. October 8th will read our fate for the next two years, and I’m pretty much really looking forward to it. We meet with our APCD (Assistant Peace Corps Director) sometime during our FBT to discuss what we want most out of a site. I will say something like, “I want to unite people, I want to organize, I want to make people smile, and I want weather that permits taking a warm bucket bath every day without freezing my butt off once the water runs off.” No big deal. J We’ve been told that many of the assignments will be in locations higher up in the mountains where it gets mighty chilly.

I’m sure I’ll have much more to report in the next two weeks.

Some things making me happy right now:
- Torrential downpour right this moment
- 20-minute relaxation soundtracks
- Reading The Shack
- A tummy full of heaven

I miss each of you more and more every day.

To Uncle Noodles, I would like to say thank you for being who you’ve been in my life and for encouraging my dream so enthusiastically. I couldn’t be more satisfied with the way things add up, and appreciate you heartily. I think of you and the family often and am sending you healing thoughts.

*I'm attempting to post an album to facebook right now. <3

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Every little ting is gonna be alright.

Couldn't pick which one I liked best... a dusk shoot with a little bit of humo.

A hillside finca.

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Today we had our first meeting with the group of Artisans we’ll be working with. I was nervous, but I think that’s just habitual (maybe it was little bit because I had to give my first presentation in Spanish to people who only understand Spanish, EVER). When I got up to talk in Spanish in front of the group of 8-12 Guatemalans we were meeting with, I shone proud—even with my runny nose, dry, itchy throat, and dizziness. I felt so much more at ease after we played our “rompehielo” and learned everyone’s name and the product they made. I’m pretty excited to do more of these presentations and to have the time to get to know the people we’re working with personally—it makes working with them so rewarding. So lucky I am to be doing a job where I have to draw from my desire to connect with people.

So, I’m trying to make a point of remembering that I need not worry.

There is a lot of time for reflection; reflection on how lucky I am, the quality people and things I’ve available to me to rely on, and the perfection of the situation I’ve allowed myself to be in. Each day I am excited for the next, and for the endless opportunities that lie ahead to live.



Doña Ana has been taking good care of me with my gripe, making me vegetable soup and hot bucket baths. I really enjoy spending time with this family, reflecting collectively on how lucky we are to get home just before the downpour hits, and then enjoying the sound of it on the lamina just the same. We ate at Pollo Campero yesterday after church and enjoyed eating almost the entire two bottles of ketchup with “papaya” (=corn syrup) on the table (well, they did anyway). There’s nothin’ like you’re “all-Guatemalan” fast food chicken (until I can cook for myself, I’m a vegetarian who eats chicken occasionally). **The cookies were a HUGE success - everyone loved them, especially me.**

This is Mariana (my little niece) and me. :)



Last Thursday, Shaila taught us and her Doña a few different steps to salsa and Eduardo, our maestro, was quite the T.A. I feel like, with just two or more days of practice, being led by the two of them, we will be experts. But, really, I am glad she did. You know how there’s someone who thinks some hobby of theirs is just the cat’s meow, and you don’t? And they want to convince you, in any manner possible, that it really is? And, once they finally get you to do it, you realize it’s not so bad, and yes, you actually do like to dance? Well, thank you, Shaila, for helping me to remember that it’s okay to be comfortable in my skin at all times.

The people I’m spending my time with are calidad.



I suppose that’s all for now. But, one last thing: in case you’re wondering, the music I’m listening to at the moment that’s making me feel some kind of wonderful is a little bit of Taj Mahal and Frank Sinatra, mixed in with some Save Ferris and Harry Connick, Jr. Just watched When Harry Met Sally, and couldn’t be in a better mood here with my runny nose, dry, itchy throat, and dizziness. Buenas noches, que descansa.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

¡Bienvenidos a Guatemala!









These photos portray our group at 2:30 in the morning, waiting for the Washington National Airport to begin serving customers (at 4:00am).
...
Last night, as I was falling asleep, I was interrupted by a booming thunder. We’ve been instructed that, when it’s not cloudy, that boom comes from the active (but lazy) volcano outside my bedroom window when it decides to puff out some smoke. I ran up to the window to look and saw streams of lava coming out the top (no, sadly I did not get a picture)!!! Three different streams of glowing red, molten lava popped out of the volcano. Exciting, yeah? I couldn’t sleep. But the next morning when I shared the excitement I was informed it was a normal occurrence. Thus, sleep shall return this evening—sans fear of Pompeii II.

On to more exciting things:

Being in a room with a group of 33 people that are all comfortable with themselves, desire nothing of others except to share who they are and what they have to give to them, and that are just happy to BE is something I don’t think I’d give up for the world. I believe that this group is one whole part of the reason I came here.

The other part, the BIG, huge part is the people of Guate. SO HOSPITABLE they are, and so open to your presence. I’m staying with Doña Ana and Don Manuel (owner of a finca de café that produces AMAZING coffee—YES, I’m very much enjoying drinking it), and their three children (Jose, 22 on August 29th, Milton, 28 on September 2nd, Flor, 29) and one grandchild (Mariana, 7, so sweet—she likes to scare the bejeezus out of me). We sit at the kitchen table and talk, watch enthralling telenovelas (juicy ones), and eat AMAZING food, and I love it. I love everything about it. I’m going to attempt to make my cookies for the upcoming birthdays, and went on a successful quest to find real chocolate chips today in order to do so.

We cleaned beans my first Saturday to make them ready for cooking and Doña Ana described to me the art of making FABULOUS frijoles negros—I will have to practice with her during my three months here. I MEAN THEY’RE AMAZING! We went to church my first Sunday, and I met the volunteer who had lived here previously (Melanie). ¡Que calidad tiene ella!

We (me, Tricia, Shaila, and Annalisa) will be working in a small town between two volcanoes (one of which I have a clear view from my bedroom window). We’re here to help Artisans improve their sales either by adding value or diversifying their product, as well as finding buyers or better locations to sell. This is our training project for the next three months, which will help us gain the necessary skills to get to know and work with other Guatemalans for the next two years. We recently met some of our participants and got to taste the excitement of actually having the opportunity to be effective. We also introduced ourselves to the mayor: “Soy Amanda Baker, soy de California, y soy licensiada en ciencias políticas. En los estados, trabajaba con una compañia que trabaja por el medio ambiente sostenible.”

To fathom the invaluable experience I’m about to have is beyond exciting. I consider myself lucky to be a part of the Peace Corps and to contribute to its legacy of contributions. What an extraordinary opportunity to gain mucha from the opportunity to learn who I am, and what it means to be a part of this world.



At about 5:15 this morning, the local convention of street dogs, or cuchos, decided to have a conference right outside my bedroom window. It seems to be the regular meeting place for them as of late. I suppose it will become a regular thing, which I will learn to sleep through. It did, however, pose a grand opportunity for a spectacular photo of the volcano at dawn. Oh, and, there were two more incidences of booming lava last night. I don’t think I could ever get tired of it.

Later this morning, I was relieved of my guilt for making everyone a few minutes late for church by a parade that started on the street, again, right outside my bedroom window. You know, just your usual Sunday morning parade, with ALL the schools in the surrounding areas in their band-suit bests… an early start to celebrating the day of Independence, official date September 15th (Sara I will surely be celebrating your birthday here). We were serenaded with such popular hits as “YMCA” and the Pink Panther song, among several others. They were quite amazing (they’re actually still going as I write this), and even made me tear up just a little. Being the sap that I am, I couldn’t help but be overwhelmed by the joy of listening to the awesome Guatemalan performance, while looking at a beautiful volcano, watching it make tiny puffs of smoke, allllll right outside my bedroom window. How lucky am I???



To my family and “framily”, please know that I am there with you. My heart is with you.

I love you.

Thursday, July 2, 2009

On becoming expert at hurrying up to wait...

I went to Michigan last weekend for several reasons:

1) to visit family,
2) to visit U Mich's Ford School and speak with a Graduate Advisor, and
3) to be away from California.

The experience was a mix of wonderful and what may be considered quite frustrating to many...

My delayed flight arrived Friday morning at 1:00am to find no hotel shuttle. I'd tried calling the Rodeway Inn (fancy establishment) all day (aside from when I was flying) to let them know I'd be a late arrival and to not give up my room, knowing that of course, everyone else in the world would be trying to take it, but got a busy signal every time. I was forced to just wing it and see what happened when I got there. Now the cabbies at Detroit Metropolitan Airport charge $22 to take you ONE mile to the hotel strip, so a luxury car driver offered to charge the same (it was very nice).

Come to find out, the power was out along the entire strip of hotels near the airport, and had been since about 4:30pm that afternoon (which would explain the busy phone lines and no shuttles running, since the gas station across the street had no power, either). Well, lucky for me I had my confirmation printed out and was still able to have a bed to sleep in. The hotel employee showed me to my room and gave me a candle, with a goodnight message of, "I don't know how you'll manage, ma'am." I told him, "I'll figure it out, thank you and goodnight." I put my lone 12" candle in a plastic cup and surrounded it with a washcloth to keep it standing, washed my face with the unheated running water, blew out the candle and went to bed.

Four hours later, I awoke to find the power still out, the shower quite cold, and my way back to the airport to pick up my rental car. Since the shuttle was not running, still, they were nice enough to give me a ride back in their personal car, and wouldn't take a tip. So, with a pleasant greeting and bottle of water from the nice folks at Enterprise, off to Ann Arbor I went.

Now, I was rather surprised by how beautiful I found Michigan to be. There was NO TRAFFIC, trees everywhere, and the whole place was just green. The people were nice and I found my way into Ann Arbor, no problem. Following my handy-dandy campus map, I made my way over to the Ford School of Public Policy and got to sit and wait a little longer. The Advisor I was scheduled to meet with was caught up in a seminar and would be a little late. The nice Registrar lady took me in to answer any burning questions I may have had, the front-desk man took me on a tour of the building, and I happily sat and read my book until Scott (the advisor) arrived an hour later.

Well, the visit was nothing short of a success. I am excited, confident, and motivated to take that next step, two years from now. WOO HOO! Also, a bit of symbolic reassurance: I walked toward the student Union to get a bite to eat before heading to Grand Rapids to visit my family and saw right outside the door a plaque that said that was the very spot JFK announced the conception of the Peace Corps in 1960, before it was officially signed into action in 1961. As I stood there taking a picture with my Peace Corps bag on arm, a nice group of people walked up to acknowledge the plaque, and then my bag, and asked how I was affiliated - I got to share with them my excitement about going to Guatemala and all just seemed right at that moment in time.

Ahh, sweet opportunity.

Oh, the drive to Grand Rapids was just beautiful, easy, and pleasant, and into my family's arms I ran. My cousin Peter, also born on April 7th, though some years ahead of me, has the most beautiful family. He married a gorgeous and sweet, sweet wife, Sherri, and now has three perfect kids; Tristan (13), Taylor (11), and Turner (7). I had the best time, and am so happy to have had the opportunity to get to know all of them just a little bit better. We spent lots of time outside at baseball games and Grand Haven beach, and playing games and drinking mojitos and just enjoying the splendor of fabulous family. OH! I saw my first fireflies!!! It was an exciting moment, for sure.

Well, as pleasant as the weekend was, my patience and acceptance were truly tried on Monday, as I made my way back to Sacramento. Let's just say visiting 5 different states in one day isn't the most pleasant adventure, and then dealing with lost luggage at the end of all of it (all of it = taking off finally, two hours late at 3:40pm EDT and landing at 10:30pm PDT) truly iced the cake. But, I must say, the whole adventure was just a sweet reminder of all the upheaval and emotional rollercoasters I will be experiencing in the two years to come. I handled myself rather well, and didn't even get irritated until the last moment, when they insisted I wait for all the luggage of all the recently-landed flights to go around the carousels before letting me file a report saying I needed them to call me the next day when my luggage finally arrives (which I knew would be the case, so the extra waiting at the end of an especially long day was just unnecessary cruelty).

But I'm only stronger because of it, right? And the weekend in Michigan was well worth the trouble.

All will be as it will be and I will learn to live through it, acceptingly. :)

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Es tan bueno saber que...

It's so good to know that I'm doing what I want.

It's so good to know that I don't know what I'm doing.

It's so good to know that whatever I do, it will be good.

It's so good to know that my life will evolve from doing this unknown good.

It's so good to know that, even if what I do doesn't seem good now, the future has been changed because of the good I'm doing.

It's so good to know that I love what I'm getting myself into.

It's so good to know that life cannot be mapped out.

It's so good to know that living an unmapped life usually brings you what you want, even when you don't know you want it.

It's so good to know that the world is my Oyster - even if what appears to be happening isn't what I'd mapped out.

Es tan bueno saber que todo es como debe ser, siempre.


Peace Corps parties are fun. Everyone's excited, even if they have yet to apply. Returned volunteers are excited to share with you their experiences and advice, applicants and nominees are excited to hear what they'll be going through for the next year+, invitees are excited they'll be leaving SOON...

I was told I looked like a bride on her wedding day. If any of you don't know what that looks like, imagine someone glowing with love for the way things are and will be (at least in their minds at the time, anyway). ;-)

I don't really know what I'll be doing - my Project Description has laid out a very detailed outline of what my project may entail, but, if I learned anything more concretely from this evening, it's that nothing is concrete. I'm 100% OKAY with that, and look forward for the challenge of making something out of nothing, even if that something is nothing tangible. Relationships will be built, perspectives and tolerance gained, respect learned, and lives changed. What more could I hope for?

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

"¡Felicidades, Amanda! ¡Mucha suerte en Guatemala! =)"

As I sit here reading aloud my hundreds of pages required of me before I call to confirm that YES, I WANT TO SERVE, I make my mom (and myself) tear up at the fact that I will be experiencing unimaginable familiarity in a place as yet so unfamiliar to me.

I will be in Guatemala for two years and three months, starting August 12th, 2009, and will be leaving August 10th for my pre-service orientation.

I will be a Marketing Facilitator for Sustainable Agriculture, helping to promote sustainable and rewarding business practices and fortification/diversification of clientele for local growers (from what I can gather at this point in my reading).

I will be learning the lives and hearts of people so foreign from what I know or understand at this time in my life, and I cannot wait. I cannot wait for how much larger my heart will become, for how much I will learn and how much I will be giving each day. I cannot wait for the upcoming fostered ability to release all things unimportant and trivial from my daily dose of mind-madness.

I anxiously and fearfully await the challenge I face, and am fully prepared to tackle it head on. The Land of Eternal Spring will be my new home SO SOON!

More to come, love to you.

"Las olas dicen a la costa firme: 'Todo será cumplido.'"
- Neruda

Monday, May 4, 2009

Well, hello!

First, abovewavesofelectricwires = the state of being I try to reside in, put so beautifully into words by Dispatch. Give 'em a listen.

Now, where am I going, you ask? And when? Well, I do not know.

In January, 2008, I submitted the application. Delays and yadayada put me through the entire process in just over a year, finally receiving my medical clearance on April 9th, 2009 (two days after my birthday - HAPPY BIRTHDAY!). What an adventure that was. :/

I was originally nominated for Municipal Development in Latin America, departing late June, but was told on April 29th that I'd actually be going to Africa, early August.

I wanted to go to Latin America because I speak a lil espanjol, and because for some reason, the culture has always intrigued me - studied a lot of Latin American culture at good ol' yookla. Then there's that little bit of ANCIENT CIVILIZATION and the mysticism/perfection behind it that was a small draw, and the rain forest, and the equatorial/tropical climate (if I were assigned my dream spot, Peru/Ecuador)... and all the amazingness one could imagine (if one were me).

But Africa? Hmm... Africa. AFRICA. Doesn't it sound grand? Who wouldn't want to know what it was like to live in Africa? It helped when she (my Placement Officer) told me that the undisclosed country I'd be going to was a highly desirable assignment, and that the country and people were just THE honest beauty of the world. A world of excitement had just been thrust upon me, which took every last ounce of hunger right from my stomach. It was finally happening! I was going to AFRICA! Crazy/incredible/exciting/scary/OMG. My invitation is coming in 10 days, and that's it! Just a few months more and I'll be helping plan and implement water sanitation projects, marketing them to the community and getting them more involved, and helping with HIV education and prevention. What a difference I will make, in their lives and mine. I would've never dreamed anything so great.

Alas, it was too good to be true. The next morning, my first email said, "I'm sorry, Africa is no longer an option." GASP! What?! What does this mean? No appetite. Again. To add insult to injury, my gal in Washington (she's really very nice and helpful) is going to be out of the office until the end of May, at which time she'll be able to look at my paperwork again to try to fit me in Latin America, again.

*Try running a half marathon after all that emotional turmoil - no, really, don't try; it's awful.*

So I have some more forms to fill out, and you can bet they'll be the most consice representation of my "skill set" possible.

So, what do I gain? What do I have available to me to bring me out of my fear of never being able to go?

I suppose it helps to return to point. I want to help people. And, I just will have to trust that I'm going to be where I'm ultimately supposed to be at the time I'm supposed to be there. The world is not against me, and I have too much I'm just itching to give, for it to not work out.

In my time of waiting... and waiting and waiting... you all have been so great to encourage me and be excited with me. THANK YOU. I love you all.