Friday, December 24, 2010

Christmas in 6 Corners of the Sky

I apologize for being so malcriada and not posting for such a long time, what a life I have lived for the past two months.

I wrote my last post just before I went to Todos Santos, Huehuetenango for the world famous drunken horse races and delirious drunken marimba dances all throughout the streets. It was the greatest celebration of culture and PEACE CORPS culture I have experienced since arriving in Guatemala. The Peace Corps community rented a house and stayed there (about 60-70 of us) for the weekend of All Saints, ready to soak it all in; “it” being many things, of which most you can imagine, I’m sure. Halloween night we threw a costume party and set up a dance hall on the unfinished fourth floor of a magnificent house unoccupied by its US resident owner and slept on the floor in the 6+ bedrooms of this place. The next morning a few people braved the sunlight to watch the cemetery processions of colorfully dressing the graves and then went to join the crowds of candy-cane pants and blue-rimmed straw hats to watch the unfolding of events at the horse tracks. It is a tradition of this “dry” town to get the bravest riders drunk throughout the morning while running the horses back and forth on a short stretch of sandy path, to the point where most of them fall off in the middle of the track because they are so drunk they can no longer hold on to their horses. Literally. This, really, is the sole point of this activity. But fun it is, to watch, indeed.

Shortly thereafter, or so it seemed, I moved out of my host family’s house into my VERY OWN apartment. I painted the walls in the bedroom and bathroom a pale green and off-white and absolutely LOVE being in my own space. The time with the family was super lovely, especially towards the end where I FINALLY began to feel comfortable being absolutely myself with them and knowing they care no matter what. But having your own space is its own special kind of meditative peace and quiet, I am so grateful. I painted and moved in PROMPTLY after my site mate Matt and his wife, Meli, moved back to the United States. Emotional as it was to say goodbye, I was quite relieved to have the opportunity to find my breathing space in town. It seems warp speed the time in which it took me, at that point, to feel as if my comfort and space in town was all settling in as if I actually belong there. I really can truly say I feel at home now. Moments pass by more and more frequently in which I feel as if I DO NOT need, nor desire, to go back to the United States just yet. It feels good to be in this small town where life is simple and everything can be expected before it happens and family is so close and so defined that you really aren’t left for wanting much. I spent the day with my host sister and the family for her graduation from Diversificado (the equivalent to a very applicable tech high school degree) and felt as if I truly were a part of the family. Even Dona Vida, the momma of my host momma, was treating me as a family member – scolding me when I didn’t get pictures at the right moment, etc. It really was beautiful. That night I moved out. And from that night of November 20, it seems, life began.

So I spent the following week preparing the house, cleaning, moving in, and getting ready for about 16 PCV guests who came to spend Thanksgiving in my site with me, my site mates, and our most beloved host family. The preparation for this event included provisions for three turkeys, pumpkin pies, sweet potato pies, and all the other dishes in between which, thankfully, we had our volunteer friends help provide and put together night before and day of. We celebrated the night before for my friend Kiera’s 30th birthday by ordering about 8-10 pizzas and having ice cream cake and JELLO SHOTS (strawberry and pineapple jellos mixed together – my ingenious creation). The brave ones prepared the turkeys by getting them drunk, getting them dizzy, killing them, plucking their feathers, and setting up the pans for the next day, while the rest of us enjoyed our drunkenness and the celebration of Kiera’s life (and ours, really). It was absolutely fantastic. The next day we made breakfast at my house, prepared our dishes, and headed over to stuff the turkeys and take them over to the town bakery who let us borrow their huge ovens for the day. It was a great day, this Thanksgiving day. For others as well as myself it was probably the best Thanksgiving I have ever had. There was no regret or sadness for not being at home with my family and friends (as much as I really do miss them). It was only happiness and gratefulness for being in the presence of so many that we love, understand, and appreciate in needing one another throughout this crazy Peace Corps experience. I got up and gave my palabras at dinner and almost instantly started to cry (what some of my fellow PCV’s here have dubbed as the usual “heart-to-heart with Amanda Baker”). I cried because I honestly felt in my heart and mind and body that everything that was happening at that moment with that host family and Peace Corps family was just absolutely perfect. There was no ounce of satisfaction or love missing from that event and I felt it. So overwhelmingly, in fact, that I do proclaim that the best Thanksgiving I’ve ever had… along with a few other volunteer friends of mine.

Anyway, after this Thanskgiving there were only two weeks (less!!) to wait until MOM GOT HERE!!! She arrived to my site with me on December 9th and from there, what a holiday it has been. We started by having Walter (a Garcia brother of mine) pick us up in San Marcos to drive us back to site where they insisted we ate lunch before going home to decompress. They cooked a delicious meal of grilled chicken and forced a bit of rum down our throats before sending us home to rest. Everyone instantly loved mom, of course. The whole time we were there we were told how friendly you could tell she was just by looking at her face, and how young and preserved she was even though she is %@ years old.  Everyone absolutely loved her. The next morning I cussed out the construction workers right in front of my house when they tried to deny my request to move their 50 lb bags of concrete away from RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY DOOR so I didn’t have to trip over them on my way out and as things escalated, I sent my counterpart over to talk to the owner of the job site. After that, they didn’t bother me. Saturday my friend Lauren from Comitancillo (the town next door – 2 hours away by foot AND by bus) joined my new site mate, Jaron, me, and my mom for some wine and dinner. It was absolutely delicious and such wonderful times. Sunday we made spaghetti for my host family for lunch and relaxed in the evening. Monday we went to my host family’s house, made a TON of chocolate-chip cookies (host grampa’s favorite), and accompanied them to the family’s land up above Tejutla for the day. We shared a DELICIOUS lunch of pollo con crema, many stories of what kind of work mom did and does now, wool-lined boots for a Christmas present from us (and Thank You for treating me like one of their own and taking care of me) which had almost everyone in tears. It was such a heartfelt and gratifying event, so validating of my time here. We then napped on the crazily terraced hillside of their once-farmed land to watch the sun settle into the afternoon sky and listen to their cows drink from the fresh-water spring facing Volcan Tajumulco. Indescribable beauty and calm. Tuesday my Garcia family came over to dinner with us and the site mates and mom made her chili, which is now WORLD FAMOUS!! So much fun, I ABSOLUTLEY love them and how at home I feel with them. I’m so happy they had the chance to meet mom, although they were quite displeased at having missed the opportunity to meet Dad and Olivia, too. But even still, all was beautiful and well. Wednesday we went to the office and then to Momma Meli’s house for dinner. It was so sweet, they made us a typical meal of beans, fried plantains, and chicken. So delicious. And so great a time – what a wonderful family that I have yet to experience the best of times with. There are three nephews/sons, all eight years old, that are super talkative and loving and excited about life—such a refreshing thing in Guatemala. The three sisters are just BEAUTIFUL women with whom I am very excited to share much love in the next year, and Momma Meli, the sisters’ mom, is the most dear lady in town – you cannot help but instantly love her. Thursday we went to Quipambe, one of my community groups, and made spaghetti with the ladies for the Clausura (the end-of-year reflection and projection of prosperity and greatness that has come into our lives) and enjoyed listening to them chatter, talk to mom in Spanish, watch me stand in front of the stove because I sat in unseen spilled pineapple juice, and EAT. It was such a pleasurable experience for momma, to see the lifestyle, to share in the love that is ever-present between all Guatemalans and the world. Thursdsay night was dinner at Joe’s with Charlie (3 lbs worth of burgers – DELICIOUS). Joyous night to send us off, sadly, the next day to Xela.

Since Xela it has been TRUE vacation in the nice restaurants and resorts that are so un-Guatemala but so relaxing. Dad and Olivia FINALLY arrived Tuesday night (the 21st) and it’s been fantastic. We wandered through the markets of Antigua, the crazy grocery stores, and the bars/restaurants that my volunteer friends and I frequent, enjoying taking our time. Today was Christmas Eve and we made brunch and wandered into town in the afternoon, had a beer at one place and shots of Don Julio at another, just enjoying ourselves. We ate at a blues/jazz bar and had tapas for Christmas Eve dinner, retiring early only to be woken up at midnight by Christmas in 6 corners of the sky. I’ve not properly explained to you the great tendency to be pyro-crazy in this country, but telling you that you could literally hear and SEE magnificent fireworks coming from about 6 different places in the sky this evening may do that fact justice. It was such an overwhelming and wonderful way to bring in Christmas day, such an unusual (for us) Christmas, yet so filled with magnificence. I do not believe there will ever be a Christmas like it. Having my family here has been the greatest joy, and being able to share with them what I love about this country, the people I love here, and just time has been such a blessing to end the year with. I cannot fully explain my joy at this moment.

In one week I will be flying off to Costa Rica for New Years… more to come soon. I love you all immensely and hope that you have enjoyed this Christmas season as much as I have been able to. Merry Christmas, everyone. Pictures will come when I have more time (and it’s not the middle of the night) to upload them. <3 <3 <3 Love you.

Friday, October 29, 2010

My Sunset

It appeared as if the sun was setting in three parts of the sky. 
 West
 North
East

These photos were all taken within 5 minutes of each other.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Over the Hump

There was a day a couple weeks back that was so incredible, I don’t think it could ever be topped in its magnificence. I was getting ready to go to Quipambe and a little stressed out; it was our first meet. I was suddenly hit by a moment of clarity so strong that I no longer felt a part of the earth. It was like I could see everything that was happening around me, everything that would happen in my life, and was SO aware of the beauty that I make my life out to be. I literally felt high – a little overwhelming. Of course it made me cry; it was so beautiful to feel so sure and all-knowing of life and what I’m doing in it.

If only we could have those kinds of days every day. Anyway, out of that came the realization of my dream to be a professor and do ALL SORTS OF THINGS in life that just seem so perfect I can’t hardly wait to get started on the path towards doing them. I’m hoping to start online classes in January to jump ahead on some pre-requisites for the Masters of Science in Nutrition and Clinical Health Psychology (Bastyr University), or a few other Masters of Public Health – Nutrition programs I’m looking at. I’m SO excited.

But this excitement has been making it a little difficult to maintain my enthusiasm about being here. Oh, Guatemala. It is so unbelievably gorgeous yet covered with so much trash. The people are so unbelievably friendly yet plagued by fatalism and poor health/malnutrition. The work is so simple yet so far from realization, it’s almost discouraging. I’m supposed to just DO and let be done, without being so concerned with the outcome. Maybe learning how to do that will be my greatest accomplishment here.

 This morning I asked the “powers” that be for some kind of inspiration or reminder of why it is so great to be here. I was riding in a very crowded taxi on the way to El Horizonte with Virginia, a técnica at ADICTA, and her 5-(or so)-year-old daughter, Neyneli, who is always accompanying her (us) to the office and to community visits. She’s very precious. She was basically sitting on my lap because of how crowded the taxi (i.e. clown car) was. As she leaned up against me on the bumpety, washed-out dirt road I felt present and peaceful. I was happy to be there, to have relationships with Guatemalans that make me feel close with them, and to go give a charla that I was too tired to give. Well, when we got there, the meeting was nonexistent… some faulty line of communication (typical of Guatemala). This did not make me mad; I was actually excited to just sit there and relax with the lady of the house (Doña Reina) to chat about random things. When it came time to leave I waited on the road in front of her house for another clown car to come by and got to see the sun shine through the clouds and disperse its immaculate gold light. This beauty is just as extraordinary the second time around as it was the first. I’m sure it will never lose its splendor. This photo does no justice to the way it shone over the valley.

Anyway, every now and again I get glimpses of that excited “I’M A PEACE CORPS VOLUNTEER!” attitude I so fervently came here with. It is a great thing that I am doing; for Guatemala but mostly for myself. I love that I’m challenged, very apparently, to better myself and to be for the people of Guatemala what I want to be for everyone, all of the time. So as I listen to all the people COSing (CloseOfService-ing) and exclaiming how great it is to finally be an RPCV, I patiently wait my turn. I look forward to the next year’s worth of lessons and successes. It can only be good, no matter how hard it seems to have a life devoid of Jamba Juice’s REVIVED Pumpkin Smash smoothie and Zeta and Sacramento fall and tile floors without rolly-pollies crawling all over them and beds without fleas and streets without failed-smog-check or burning plastic fumes.

<3 

Thursday, October 7, 2010

One Year Left

First year DONE.

Some tricks:
-          Learning how Guatemala works
-          Learning how Guatemalans work
-          Learning how to be myself in a culture where I’m not really allowed to be mySELF
-          Learning how to eat right in this place full of carbs, carbs, carbs, and protein (and no use of the abundance of fresh and beautiful vegetables)
-          Learning how to BE with myself, by myself, for large periods of the time

Some treats:
-          Living in the vast belleza that is Guatemala
-          Having the comfort of close friends
-          Having technology to connect with my most loved ones
-          Connecting with my host family and Guatemalans
-          Working with Guatemalans

Some things for which I’ve learned to take off my costume:
-          How to be myself and remember myself no matter whose company I am in
-          How to FEEL myself at all times
-          How to remember what’s most important and what I can afford to let go of
-          How to KNOW that my day and my LIFE are what I make them, what I WANT them to be
-          How to let myself love others regardless of what thoughts may be in their heads

I just went through my mid-service medical exams and all is well (no tuberculosis, no cavities!!). What was even better was when everyone that “examined” me asked, “HOW DOES IT FEEL TO HAVE JUST ONE YEAR LEFT?! YOU MADE IT SO FAR ALREADY!” Well, I suppose it feels great to have come this far and to be able to see things differently and ways in which I have changed. It feels great to finally feel like I’m accepted and appreciated here. It feels great to know how fast the past year went by and how the next year should go by even faster; not only because it means I get to go home sooner, but also because I will be working more and feeling more fulfilled in what I’m doing.

Guatemala is great – the people, the places, the things to do and learn… I do not regret a thing. I especially love the people that have come into my life because of my being here, and the life I’ve learned to live because of my experiences.

Change is the only constant thing in life, and I’m grateful for that. We are always growing and learning and doing things that get us where we are supposed to be in life.

Here’s to one more year of change!

Happy almost Halloween. 

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Estoy aquí para servirles.

I saw a man walking down the street with a UCLA Bruins T-shirt on, navy blue with the classic yellow-gold lettering. I was pretty excited. He, however, was very unsuspecting of its significance, and so it goes with most of the clothing bought in Guatemalan PACAs (second-hand stores). It gets so ridiculous to the point that we volunteers had a PACA shirt contest during our Reconnect back in February. My shirt said “Alien Sex Fiend Club” with a picture of a man with what looked like numerous spikes coming out of his head. I did not place, but Des’s “I’m horny” unicorn shirt was a fair winner. Keep in mind that people wear these shirts all over the country having absolutely no idea what they say. It’s pretty entertaining for us volunteers. I wish I could tell you more, but they are so many that I can hardly keep up.

So, starting on August 29th, I will have 14 months left. It is true what they say, that things pick up after your first year. I have had probably the best “Peace Corps” week since I’ve arrived in Guatemala.

My first victory this week: I won the representative position on the Gender and Development (GAD) Committee of volunteers for the Sustainable Agriculture program. This means I will be facilitating the sharing of information on how to incorporate Gender and Development charlas and activities into our projects, and will become a primary resource for the other volunteers in the Sustainable Agriculture program. This will add such depth to my service, as it has already given me the boost in self-confidence I need to start giving more charlas and building better relationships with the people I’m working with. AND, my counterpart is interested in working on this WITH me, since he has spent many of his years creating his organization (ADICTA) with a focus on development, devoting much time to providing opportunities to the groups of women in the surrounding communities. For this I am VERY excited.

Second victory: On Tuesday I gave a charla on Commercialization and all of the necessary steps to successfully commercializing your business idea. We started with a small skit and then did a rompecabezas (puzzle) to put all the pieces of commercialization together. The end result was a picture of a Guatemalan Quetzal (basically a dollar bill, but worth a lot less). They had fun doing it and I had fun sitting with them afterwards to eat our bread with jam and tea, chatting about life and ourselves. I LOVED it, in fact. When I left the house to go wait for a taxi to pass outside, it was drizzling. The house was located on a dirt road in a river valley, surrounded by trees with huge jungle-like leaves and forest-covered mountains. It was so serenely beautiful to just stand there in the drizzle watching the water drip off the leaves, the water pulling them down as it fell. Then I received a free ride back to the municipio from a passing minivan, of which the drivers were related to my counterpart! Or so they say. It is Guatemala, afterall. J

Third victory: Tuesday night, I chatted with my host family about how they felt about hosting another volunteer once I moved out. Their first response was, “will they be like you? We only want them if they’re like you.” It was the nicest, most validating thing – especially since I spend the majority of the time feeling like I’m an extremely rude, totally culturally insensitive gringa. I felt very loved/loving. Afterwards I went to “Noche Juventil” at my host family’s church and had my ears just about blasted out of my head by the absurdly loud speakers. I’m surprised they don’t have to buy new ones every week for how loud they insist on playing them. Aside from the difference in viewpoint and opinion on many real-world issues and the obnoxiously loud music, I thoroughly enjoyed spending the extra time with my host sister, Rosmil and the sweet girl that works in the family’s store, Vita. It was really a great experience.

Fourth victory: This morning I went running again!! And I did two miles, walking parts of the second mile. It was so absolutely invigorating and refreshing to get up early, blast my iPod (with some EXCELLENT old school hip hop to boot), and watch dogs fighting over each other as I made my laps around the super muddy soccer field. It is so nice to be able to feel the blood flowing through my thighs again as I seemingly effortlessly take one step after the other. It makes me SO nostalgic for those marathon training days. Anyway, I ended up being completely splashed up with mud—haven’t had such a glorious shower in quite some time.

Fifth victory: Today we had a meeting with the Junta Directiva. FAO came to ask them a questionnaire about their roles and to give a charla about Market Investigation and its importance. I sat through it with everyone and felt nice to be a part of the group. Towards the end, the secretary asked how one might go about doing an investigation, or writing a survey to take around with them. Don Víctor, my counterpart, chimed in, “well, fortunately for us Amanda is here. And she is FULL of conocimiento about just how to do that sort of thing. I recognize that I haven’t spent very much time working with her or showing her the ropes since I’m always in and out of the office in various meetings, but it would be to our great advantage to work with her. She is here to help.” Paolo, the Italian volunteer from FAO who came to give the charla, added very fervently, “ADICTA is SO lucky to have someone with this conocimiento at their disposal ALL of the time. It is really important that you make use of what she has to offer, especially since she will be here for only another year. AND, she’s here for free!” And much more. This was a victory because much of my previous despair and troubles came from my not doing anything in ADICTA. It was so hard for me to accept that it wasn’t my fault and that I wasn’t just some lazy volunteer – it really does go both ways and if I hadn’t proved I was willing to work by making my own plan and following through with it, I would likely have continued to go unnoticed. But now they notice. And they appreciate. And I feel like my decision to stick this out was the best one I could have made. I am happy, I am finally comfortable being who I am here carrying on with what I know is important and expecting nothing in return. This is the greatest relief.

And so, here’s to continuing on the up!

In much of the spare time I do have, I have begun to draw a little bit here and there, and am the proud artist of my friend Charlie’s brand new tattoo! It’s a starfish, inspired by “The Star Thrower” by Loren Eiseley. You all should read it. This is why I love Charlie. I am also working on one for my dear friend, once diaper buddy (a whole half sleeve!!!)… I’ll let you know how that turns out.

I have also done extensive research on graduate programs of study. After much consideration of my extreme passion for nutrition (have read several books in their entirety in one single day) and its effects on physical AND mental health, and my obsessive interest in psychology, I searched long and hard for a program that would combine this love for nutrition and its psychological effects. I am excited to be seriously planning on starting from scratch with the many science prerequisites I need to be accepted into the MSNCHP (Master of Science in Nutrition and Clinical Health Psychology) at Bastyr University near Seattle, Washington. This is the first dream I can clearly see carrying through the rest of my life and I can’t tell you how pleased I am to have finally gotten ahold of it. Pretty sure this one will stick, but don’t hold me to it. J Afterall, I still have a whole year (+ two months) in Guatemala to change my mind…

I love you all. And I miss you. 

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Long stretch no write.

Last weekend of May Pacaya exploded and made a mess of things with ash all over Guatemala City and the surrounding areas, IMMEDIATELY followed by Tropical Storm Agatha. Ash turned to goo and landslides, compounded by mudslides caused by the torrential downpours all over the country. Houses were filled with mud to the roofs, people buried alive in mud, and lockdown all over the country for lack of transportation. It was horrible. My location was relatively unaffected.

That weekend I was “stuck” in Xela for floods, mudslides, and roadblocks. What a weekend it was. There’s something wild about not being able to move amidst downpours and streets-turned-to-rivers. We didn’t let it get us down and enjoyed almost literally swimming around town. Fortunately Xela stayed open: we weren’t the only crazy ones taking advantage of the disability to do anything else besides relax and enjoy ourselves. Those couple days will never leave my memory.

Then HOME. At last. Greeted by tears and terribly-missed family, I flew into San Francisco on June 10th. From that point forward I immediately started in on the must-do’s: Lagunita IPA, Stone Double Bastard Ale, Stone IPA, Stone Ruination IPA, and Sailor Jerry & Coke. Oh, and I also very much enjoyed seeing my family and friends. Such wonderful therapy. I gave a short speech about tolerance and the Peace Corps to two different groups and felt good about what I had to say. I attended a family party with friend afterparty and talked way too much about what I do and don’t do in Peace Corps, re-fell in love with Sailor Jerry, and saw so many of those that mean the most to me. OhHowIMissAndLoveThem. I flew out after probably the most amazing night of my life and back to Guate I went. Maybe a relief, maybe not. But here I am.

Almost right afterwards was the 3rd of July party. What to say besides beer, debauchery, and spending too much money? Said goodbye to Alex. A new experience dawns here in Guatemala. I had the MOST fun since I’ve been here and am relieved to have had a few weeks off of alcohol. I also have new VERY amazing friends.

The past couple of months were not easy ones. Probably the roughest patch I’ve ever been through in my life. But the seemingly unending “crisis” culminated with a newfound motivation to do what I came here to do, and recognize what it was I originally wanted from coming here. I am happy to have seen the other side of this funk and to have reestablished my commitment to serve Guatemala and mySelf. It helps to remind myself of this from time to time, as this kind of adjustment doesn’t stop evolving until it’s over. I greatly look forward to the euphoria that will come for having finished this gargantuan task of performing the toughest job I’ll ever love.

Meanwhile, I’m going to Huehue to visit some of those very amazing friends and see Tricia!!! She FINALLY comes back from her very long surgery visit to the states. I love her.

And I love you. I miss you. Can’t wait to see you again.

Thursday, May 27, 2010

March 26, 2010

Today I learned how to make chocolate cake the Guatemalan way. I carried a few ingredients on my 1 hour school-bus ride and 50-minute walk to Shalanshac where I met the unsuspectingly large group of Guatemalan ladies. As I walked to the town from the bus I enjoyed the immaculately clear view of the miles of cobalt blue hills and ravines and innumerous sheep and lambs grazing on the unendingly steep hillsides. I spoke with my walking company about chocolate cake and family until we arrived to our destination, and was asked to accompany the 4- or 5-year-old girl walking with us in her graduation next October. When we arrived I ducked through the kitchen door to find 15-20 women with bags full of this or that ingredient, but never all of the necessary parts. We started by greasing and flouring our sauté pans (in which we were going to bake the cakes) while the HUGE bread adobe oven heated up. Soon we mixed the ingredients while measuring everything by eye in coffee mugs and table spoons and fought over who got to use the cocoa I brought with me before it ran out. We finished before the oven was heated and so proceeded to make frosting, of which only two out of the 15+ were able to achieve the necessary creamy, spreadable texture. Everyone else put in too much milk/water because they were afraid that the difficulty they had stirring it warranted more liquid. And of course there was not enough extra powdered sugar to go around, so they all ended up with icing instead. Then they rushed to feed me my two hard-boiled eggs, peeled tomato and peeled potato before I had to catch the bus back to town while fighting over who was going to reimburse me for the ingredients. Eventually it all came together one quetzal short of the total amount and I headed out the door. I had to leave before they put their cakes in the oven, so I’m anxious to hear how they turned out. Vamos a ver.
_____

The rainy season started to come in a few weeks ago. I have enjoyed my naps under the daily afternoon torrential downpour on the tin roof quite thoroughly. I’ve also LOVED the thunder cracking ferociously right above my head and wading through rivers on my walk home from work. I just don’t think I’ll get sick of it. LOVE it.
_____

I continuously grow more and more excited for my short visit to home. I get so excited with my insatiable hunger for your hugs. I need them. It will be difficult going from this wonderfully temperate climate to 110-degree Sacramento summer days, but well worth the sweat. I love you, thanks for reading.

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Así es mi vida.

Welp, I got to Mexico a little late because I came down with some incredibly horrible illness that had me bed-ridden an entire week, almost. My ears felt like someone was constantly piercing them with needles, painful to the point of hearing loss for almost 3 days. But, with a few antibiotics, a pharmacy in my purse, and determination like you wouldn’t believe, I made it across the border on Saturday the 24th. And enjoy myself, I did, indeed (even without a camera to document).

Crossed the border after about an hour of walking around with packs and luggage in probably 90-something degree weather with at least 100% humidity. Pretty disgusting, we were. Started the first night with dancing and all the other necessary shenanigans.

Took a boat ride down a river through the Cañon del Sumidero with walls 700 meters straight up, a crocodile, spider monkeys, neat birds, crazy rock formations… very beautiful. Topped that off with a 60:40 rum:coke (the only way to do it right) and the world’s best shrimp ceviche with the world’s most painfully spicy raw jalapeño. Ended that day trip with a live serenade of La Bamba, requested courtesy of our good friend Des.

Saw some Mayan ruins (Palenque) and swam in some unbelievably beautiful waterfall pools (Parque Nacional Cascadas de Agua Azul). The water was an aquamarine blue because of the sediment deposits in it, which formed pools you could walk around in and hop from one to the next barefoot. So serenely beautiful. Loved it.

Trip ended with Cha Cha’s birthday and carrying all our crap very hungover across the border. Very worth it.

Enjoyed pretty much every moment of the trip, even with ears still plugged from being sick the week before. One of those treasures you never forget.

ALMOST back to reality. Home for one night, then back on the road to a welcome party for some newbies and then to In-Service Training for the next week. Much needed girls’ night at Shani’s before a week learning how to make organic compost, lombri-compost, tire gardens, strawberry jelly and pickled veggies. Picked up lots of reading material on rural and small businesses and simple accounting and felt ready for work at the end of it. Finally.

Work should be good, now, with all the information I have to share and practice with my counterparts and the association.

I spent today baking cakes with a group of ladies in a nearby aldea and am very enthused to return two weeks from now with another baking project. They sounded pretty excited about maybe commercializing the practice eventually, and I got pretty excited to help them maybe achieve this developing goal of theirs. Even more excited that they want me to come back, and that I want to go back. Something else to look forward to.

I will spend the rest of this week helping my counterpart elaborate some project proposals to submit for review to several contributing NGOs and am thankful for the more open and comfortable relationship I’ve developed with myself and also with my counterpart. I feel SO MUCH better about the prospect of actually accomplishing something while I’m here.

I am thankful for the brothers I’ve found that I have here, I am thankful for feeling like I belong in this town just a little bit more, I am thankful for the enthusiasm and excitement I have for the life ahead of me, and I am thankful for all of you who continue backing me in this crazy endeavor to change the world, one small step at a time.

Oh, and I’LL BE HOME IN ONE MONTH. Four weeks from today. For ~two weeks. Can’t hardly contain my excitement.

I love you.

Monday, April 19, 2010

This Past Month...

Well it’s been very eventful.


Semana Santa

I started the week making pan with Joe’s host family… I only rolled one bun cause they were sticky and covered in grasa to make them easier to roll, but it was fun. Traditionally the whole family gets together to make the dough, roll, and bake the bread. And they make a TON of it. They make it for their extended family and neighbors and friends and basically that’s all they eat all week. It’s delicious.

Then I went to Xela to celebrate with my friends and had a very great time, up until my purse was stolen. In it I had my camera, my NEW iPod, NEW phone, debit card, and all the other daily necessities. I was VERY angry and didn’t quite know what to do with myself, but luckily was with good company who helped me out the rest of the week until we got home. No one was hurt and no legal documents were stolen, so it could’ve been a lot worse. Just VERY unfortunate.


Birthday Week

Needless to say, it put a damper on my excitement for my birthday the following week. It wasn’t all bad, though.

The day before my birthday, Matt & Meli made me DELICIOUS vegetarian lasagna and probably the BEST carrot cake I’ve ever had in my life. We made the frosting for it together and OH MAN. It was so good. They’re such great company and wonderful friends to have as sitemates.

The morning of, I was woken up at 5:15am with Guatemala’s traditional firecrackers right below my bedroom window, singing right outside my bedroom door, and chocolate cake with strawberries on top which I was taken downstairs to eat at about 5:30am. It was awesome. Later that morning, my host sister, Rosmil, asked if I had been listening to the radio because THEY HAD JUST ANNOUNCED MY BIRTHDAY to all of Tejutla. She had called it in earlier in the morning. So sweet! Later in the day I shared a traditional birthday lunch of Pepian, a delicious chicken and rice dish, with Joe’s host mom and host sister, whose birthdays were also that week. THEN, I got two packages from mom & dad in the afternoon. It was amazing. It all added up to be incredible, except for when I went home at the end of the day wishing to see my family and friends from home.

Day after: Mandatory Regional Security Meeting for Peace Corps. I got to see all my San Marcos friends and Joe announced my birthday to everyone there. It was really nice. We went out for micheladas (bloody Mary mix with beer instead of vodka) afterwards and celebrated just a little bit longer. When we got home, a couple of the friends Joe has made working in the Muni (and that I’ve run with a couple of times) came over to Joe’s house and we all had a little bit of rum to celebrate true to my nature. It was a very great night.

Friday I went to Lake Atitlan with a couple more friends and relaxed in the serenity that its beauty brings. Didn’t get too wild since I was so worn out from the preceding anger (it’s really exhausting) + festivities, but enjoyed myself nonetheless.

And, I’M 25!!!


Last Week

As soon as I got to the office Monday morning, my counterpart asked how I’d like to go to Guatemala for a Capacitación in his place since he had other obligations to take care of. It turned out being an all-week affair, leaving Tuesday morning, returning Saturday afternoon. I’m very glad I went—it was about Business Planning, specific to agribusiness. Very informative, and I got a diploma (huge thing in Guatemala)!! I look forward to sharing the info and materials I brought home with me with my counterpart, and hopefully getting him excited about doing things the more effective way, too. Keeping my fingers crossed.

I stayed with a bunch of other Guatemalans the whole time and enjoyed getting to know them on a more confianza level. It really is what makes this whole experience worthwhile. We did a group activity where each group had to create the same “products” with the materials given them, and our group won! Each group didn’t actually receive all the necessary materials and had to try to produce the items with what they had (this was done on purpose). When asked what happened and why it didn’t work out so well for each group, they mentioned things such as not having all the right materials, not having the confianza to ask the other groups for help/to lend materials, lack of manpower and limited time, and the last thing they said was, “it’s because we didn’t have the extranjera (foreigner) in our group!” As a joke, of course. Pshh. It was fun times.


This Week

I’m going to Mexico!! With (most of) my favorite PCV’s. I can’t wait. We’re going for a week just to relax, celebrate Charlie’s and my (belated) birthdays, do a little site-seeing, and just your general vacation shenanigans. I can’t wait. It will be so nice to just get away for awhile on a REAL vacation. I can’t wait. I’ll let you know how it goes, but unfortunately won’t have any pictures (of my own) to share since the camera was stolen. There will be others on facebook, though, I’m sure.


Needless to say, I’ve been busy. Next month should be more work-busy and I look forward to it. It will be nice to get back into the flow of a “normal” routine (as normal as it can be here in Guatemala). I hope to start progressing with what I’m supposed to be doing here, though have been reassured by several more seasoned volunteers that the first year is mostly spent learning—especially since you start from Zero here. So I try to keep that in mind as all my ideas continue to cook.

It’s comforting to acknowledge how much the time flies here. I do look forward to returning to my most normal, comfortable life and not have so much time to be spending alone, but also am grateful to spend the next year and a half figuring my shit out (18 months left as of May 1st!) without so many distractions. So great to have you to share it all with. Love you very much.

Monday, March 22, 2010

March is ending already...

Friday, March 12th was my 7-months-in-country anniversary. April 1st will mark my 5-months-in-site anniversary. It’s unbelievable how the time has flown. Just a little over 19 months to go! But who’s counting.

It’s been a little bit of a blur, still trying to sort things out in terms of what kind of work I’m doing. But, poco a poco I’m figuring it out. Still. A bunch more has been lined up with the women’s group who makes all the products we sell at my association’s store so I’m excited for that.



If nothing else, just spending the time getting to know them makes coming here totally worth it. Spending time with Guatemalans, in general, makes everything worth the trip.
...
Earlier this month I participated in a Medical Jornada as a translator.


A bunch of doctors, translators, and medical helpers came down on their vacation to help give free medicine, surgeries, etc. to many Guatemalans in the area. They actually do this all over Guatemala, among other projects. The group is called Helps International, if you’re interested in participating. I may look into it when I’m out of the Peace Corps—it was so amazing.


I spent half the week translating between doctors and patients, and I think the most gratifying part was being able to communicate on a level beyond just understanding the language. Having had the opportunity to learn the culture in a way that keeps me sensitive and understanding makes communicating with Guatemalans so rewarding. They’re the most openly loving culture—I’m so blessed to be here fostering my desire to be doing the same. (The Jornada group also fed us all week, food cooked by Americans. SO DELICIOUS, and so nice to have a taste of home).
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Yesterday I travelled to one of the other departments nearby to help a volunteer who’s just finished her two-year service give an HIV/AIDS workshop to some of the students she’s been working with.
I spent an entire afternoon doing activities and skits and sharing information with the high-school-aged students. Also an extremely rewarding day. I hope to be redoing this workshop several times throughout my two years—it’s exciting to see how well they learn, how interested they are, and that the information will carry on. I am thankful to be a part of spreading the word.


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My host mom, Sarita, had her baby on February 15th. He was TINY. His name is Nember Ismael Aguilar. SO CUTE. I look forward to watching him grow, learn to walk and talk… so exciting. She’s a happy mom.


Sarita & Nember.
Rosmil & Nember.

As for my personal experience, I mentioned it’s been a blur. I can’t say it’s been easy, though there’s nothing about being here that makes me unhappy. I very much love it and feel almost completely at home. I just keep waiting for the day where my work will fall into place and I’ll know what kind of impact, in that regard, I will be leaving. I know it will come. I’m just a little impatient, I guess. Finding peace with food has also been a challenge, especially since I have a lot of time to myself. I’m doing work to get over this, and have enjoyed more and more getting up early in the morning to run. I have hit three miles, which still is no big consolation since I’m used to being able to do a whole lot more. But I have to keep reminding myself that asthma, altitude, and weight gain are making the rise a little bit slower. It is getting better though. Those mornings when I DO drag myself out of bed, I always feel so excellent about the day. The early morning “I really just love my bed too much to get out of it” is what challenges me. Getting there, though.
I have been able to learn a lot and practice a lot of awareness; there’ve been many lessons. Don’t hold yourself to so rigid a goal. Don’t let the things that worry you rule your day. Don’t worry so much. Remember what you want and remember that it is yours already. Remember who you are—this is all you need to be. Remember that you make your day what it is. Breathe, you are alive. Love. That is all there has to be in your life.
I’ve made some amazing and lasting relationships that I couldn’t be more thankful for. There is just so much we share in common, even if only the experience we are going through. I relate to these other volunteers on a level I couldn’t have dreamed of before, especially for only having known them for 7 months. It’s pretty great. I’ve been enjoying more and more my time with Guatemalans, feeling just a little bit more comfortable being myself each day. They’re so open – when I feel bad about something they say, “what does it serve you to feel bad about it? Don’t worry about it.” So wonderful.

I never cease to be amazed at how lucky I am to have so many people at home thinking of me. Needless to say I feel very loved and very blessed to have such beautiful people in my life. It keeps me going, especially on those bad days, to know that you are there. I love you, thank you for everything.

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Haro!

Rosmil: Vamos a hacer un baby, ¿quieres venir?

Me: Whatwhatwhat? You’re going to make a baby!? And you want me to come?!!! (exasperated surprise) Or, do you mean you’re going to go with your mom to have a C-section and you’d like me to accompany you?

Rosmil: Yes. Do you want to come?

Me: Ummm, I’m not sure that I’m comfortable with that.

Rosmil: Well, you think about it and let us know. It’s going to be Wednesday at 5:00. And it’s a surprise.

Me: Are you sure she’s okay with this? This is quite a thing to spring on someone.

Rosmil: No, it’s customary here to hacer un baby. We’re going to do it in this house here (as we walk by).

Me: But, isn’t that real dangerous?! That only ever happens in hospitals in the US…

Rosmil: No, no, it’s fine. Let us know if you’re going to come.


The next day:

Okay, so, Rosmil, does “hacer un baby” mean she’s going to have the baby, or what?

She proceeded to explain in clearer detail that it meant they were having a Baby Shower. I mean, what was I supposed to think? Nevermind it sounding like some baby-making activities. I tried to move beyond that by guessing it meant they’d be getting that baby out, but man was I confused. A LOT gets lost in translation.

So Rosmil is the 17-year-old daughter of my host mom, Doña Sarita, who is going to give birth sometime this month to her second child. She and some ladies from their church threw a really nice baby shower for Sarita and I really loved it. We made blouses out of tissue paper, guessed the width of her stomach by tearing off pieces of toilet paper, and presented gifts one-by-one with some nice words. I said, “Púchica, ¡que emocionante!” This, I knew, would make her laugh since she thinks it’s hilarious that I’ve somewhat acostumbrarme’d to Guatemala and their sayings. It was wonderful, I am so sad I didn’t have my camera with me.


So I’ve decided to stay with my host family for another year, at least until M&M leave and I can have their little apartment. I’ve grown much more comfortable and finally feel like I’m at home all the way (besides missing all of you). I’ve been eating most of my meals with the host family and we spend a lot of time chatting, laughing, and eating chuchitos and paches (they’re both like tamales in the states… but paches are made with potato instead of cornmeal… what they call tamales here are made with mushy cornmeal and are bigger).

Anyway, I’m feeling like everything is finally starting to be the way I thought it would in the Peace Corps. I’m working (I’m actually working!), usually busy at work these days, feel much more at home around my counterpart and coworkers, and love that when I stop to think about it, I’m where I’ve wanted to be for a long, long time. I’m feeling like family with the Guatemalans I’ve become close to and I speak Spanish! It’s great.

I’ve also been becoming great friends with my fellow PCV’s and am looking forward to the two years we have together. Way too much fun, especially when you all are doing something this crazy together. It makes you feel closer. Plus, they're pretty amazing people.


So I can’t tell you how much I miss being there with all the things that are changing in all of your lives, how I miss running with Team in Training (it’s a little tough up in these mountains without those excellent people), how I miss just talking to my people daily and sharing with them the latest, how I miss bickering with my mom, going to happy hour with my favorites and drinking what I can only imagine is "hopsoup"…

I miss you all. And I appreciate SO MUCH the letters/packages/emails/facebook posts/thoughts. You are all thought of constantly. I long for the day I can come home and say “hi” in person.


Happy February! Love you.

Monday, January 11, 2010

2010

I just saw a calf chase a puppy out of his cornfield from my bedroom window. He then pranced his way back over to his brothers and sisters to boast of his glorious feat, but the others were too busy munching down the old stalks to make way for the next crop. I then walked back to work from my lunch break on the cobblestone streets only to sit in my freezing cold, hacienda-style office, planning or conversing or doing whatever the day decided to bring.

It’s my first day back from my month-long vacation from work, but we should hardly call it a vacation. From December 11th until today, January 11th, I don’t know that I really took a break from it all. Aside from the occasional day in bed, I spent a bit of time getting to know my familia anfitriona and other members of the community, as well as celebrating the holidays and eating way too many cookies. I do feel I’ve found home here and am slowly adjusting, but still have twinges of nostalgia for all those things I so know and love about California.

But all is well. For Christmas Eve we had a white elephant gift exchange that was so funny I almost peed laughing. We then received gifts from our Guate family that were made with their very own business’s hand-made leather products – it was so generous and unexpected, and beautiful, too. At midnight, after making the next day’s breakfast casserole and the family returned from midnight mass, we shared their traditional tamales with chicken, raisins, and plums, and hot ponche with slices of apple and coconut and orange in it. I got to give a little thanks on behalf of us volunteers and said as I teared up, “es un deseo de cada de nosotros a tener un lugar donde sentimos a casa aquí en Guatemala, y de veras sentimos a casa aquí con ustedes. Muchísimas gracias por todo que hacen para nosotros, estamos bien agradecidos por su amistad. Les amamos.” (It’s a wish of each of us to feel at home here in Guatemala, and we truly do feel at home here with you. Thank you so very much for everything you’ve done for us, we’re very thankful for your openness. We love you.) I felt every word of what I said and I think they felt it, too. Christmas day we ate entirely too much and then went to the Municipal Salon-turned-Disco at night to dance with Guatemalans who’ve returned from Wyoming and spoke a fair bit of English. They let me know my friends were mean, and I said, I know. I was the only one that would dance with any of them – but only for a short time, as we were getting ready to leave and SLEEP.

Before fully recovering from all that excitement, I went to Lago Atitlan for New Years Eve with a handful of other volunteers. It was paradise. Our hostel that we had to take a boat to get to was right on the lake overlooking a backdrop of volcanoes and, at night, fireworks and lights from all the way around it. Such serene beauty and WARMTH!! Oh it was so gloriously warm compared to my town. I got to steal away one of the nights that we were there to sit on the dock by myself, just staring at the dark silhouette of the volcanoes, listening to the wind in the tree next to the dock, watching the clouds pass lightly over the crystal clear stars, and seeing the occasional fireworks display from across the lake. Lucky, lucky me. Oh, you know, we danced, and sang, and lit sparklers, and played dress up, and made masks… nothing but a great time. Sees called me at 2am NYE to assure that we were staring at the same Blue Moon and all was well in my world. It was good to return home, though, to relax for a whole week before finally coming back to work.

Now it’s to work again, and I do honestly believe that 2010 will be a good year – as cliché as that may be. I’ll be 25 this year; I always thought this would be the best year, and so far it’s looking like it might be just that. I mean, I’m living in Guatemala. In Guatemala. Not home, yet, but beautiful and exciting, holding so much opportunity I can’t even imagine it all.

Because some of you have asked, I’ll be posting a list of items that I regularly wouldn’t mind receiving, or maybe even need that I can’t get here. It’ll be on facebook. If you’re interested but not on facebook, let me know and I’ll mail it to you.

To all of you, I sincerely appreciate you and feel so fortunate for your presence in my life. I hope that you, as well, find that 2010 is as promising as I’m hoping it to be. Love to you all, happy Monday.